These pushy, aggressive and difficult people expect to be able to force you into submission, and we have all let that happen to us.Sometimes we feel it would take too much effort to stand up to them and it wouldn’t get us anywhere, or we just feel a bit frightened or intimidated.Write it down beforehand if necessary until you get more practiced.Don’t get into long, rambling arguments - make your points clear. Or did you go behind your parents’ backs to get that cookie?While most people have a default style of communication, we all tend to use all four styles, depending on the situation and the person with whom we’re speaking.When confronting someone for their passive-aggressive tendencies, realize they are motivated to seek revenge when they perceive an injustice done to them.You didn’t necessarily do them any wrong, but they believe your behavior inappropriate, unacceptable or unjust.
· Use clear feedback to tell people of the impact of their behaviour and what you expect from them. I’d prefer it if you could lower your tone and we could talk about this properly instead of arguing.” · Plan your words – be clear, concise and direct.If you’re faced with it, you don’t know where you stand; you may think the passive-aggressive is your friend, and you probably open up without realizing you risk being sabotaged.The passive-aggressive mode of operation is: “I will be nice to your face, but behind your back, I will do things to make you suffer in hell for the rest of your life.” If you’ve ever thought about making that certain someone who needs to be taught a thing or two suffer—even just a teensy bit—you’re stepping close to that sneaky and devious world of the passive-aggressive. One passive-aggressive trait is gossiping and tattling. If you hear disparaging words one minute followed by, “But she really is my good friend,” that’s another red flag.And so we let them win and the template for future encounters is established.At its worst extreme, this kind of behaviour is outright bullying.